January 31, 2011

All You Need Is Love

I have been planning to do a cute blog post on all my can't-live-without baby gear. You know, like the Boppy, the activity mat, and a fat stack of Gerber organic cloth diapers. But then something happened to change all of that.

I used to be a mentor for a sweet, but pretty troubled, girl here in Santa Barbara. We were very close, but then as her life got back on track, we stopped seeing each other as much, and eventually she changed her phone number, and I had no way of getting back in contact with her. I missed our relationship a lot, thought about her constantly. I felt so sad that she didn't know Cruz and hadn't gone through that journey with me. 

As it turns out, she had.

Yesterday we got back in touch. She gave birth to a baby girl ten days ago.

Lord, when I asked for more friends with babies, this wasn't what I had in mind.

I am thrilled that we are back in touch, and looking forward to seeing her this coming weekend. But I am also grieving for her, for her little girl, and the dreams I've dreamt for her. 

When Cruz was born, my cousin told me, "You're going to be great at this because it's all about love." I have treasured those words in my heart. In my mind, I can also hear my Grandpa say, "All you need is love. But some brains wouldn't hurt either." 

So future mamas, mamas-in-training, and veteran mamas... I need your advice. How should I love her? What are the can't-live-without pieces of advice you have (for me and for her)? How can I balance the love with the brains? What would you do in my situation or hers? I truly believe that God brought us back together for a time such as this, and I want to be there for her in a brand new way.

And maybe I'll bring her a stack of Gerber diapers. 

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