June 25, 2013

while you were napping

dear sweet children,

children! two of you! yesterday you both slept in the car while we drove home from cousin teka's wedding down south. it was our first road trip as a family of four, and you did a great job. minimal crying, minimal meltdowns. many rounds of "i spy" for cruz, and a couple of nursing stops for london. just between us, this trip finally convinced me that our minivan is our best purchase to date. while daddy and cruz picked up burgers, london and i tucked ourselves into the back third row for nursing (her) and candy crush (me). it was comfortable, private, luxurious even, compared to nursing in our other car.

you both napped and tovi and i got to talk. talk about things beyond, "can you pass me that burp cloth?" and "i need a snack, NOW!" (nursing makes me hungry and being hungry makes me grumpy) we asked each other questions like, "where do you want us to be in five years?" and "what are your next goals?" we love dreaming big dreams for our family, for you, and you gave us the space (and silence) to do it.
sometimes our dream for our family involves breakfast.
you both napped and we laughed quietly every time your heads would flop forward. because cruz is on a big peter rabbit kick, we were inspired to call you "flopsy" and "miss flops" the whole drive. genetically, it seems that we have failed to pass along strong necks to you both. sorry about that.

little ones, you are so so loved.

June 21, 2013

library lion

cruz received library lion for his first birthday from our friend anna. it quickly became one of our favorite books (cruz-- lions, me-- libraries). it's a beautiful, witty story with equally gorgeous illustrations. for obvious reasons, we now always take big lion with us when we visit the library.

last tuesday was my first real day alone with both kids. i planned out our day carefully, setting myself up for success. no matter how they napped or needed to eat, i had a plan! everything went well, and for our first outing as a mom-with-two-kids we went to the library.

lion in tow, cruz headed straight for the toddler area, grabbed some books, some Legos, some blocks, and settled in for an afternoon of entertaining himself. london was in the moby wrap while i picked out books, and then i actually managed to nurse her while hunched over in a toddler-sized bean bag chair. i set "the chimes" on my phone to let cruz know when it would be time to put away the toys, check out our books, and head back home. he came right away and helped me scan each books barcode. i was so happy with how everything had gone i could have busted open with joy.

well, pride comes before the fall.

our little library is just a few minutes from our house. my turn signal was clicked on to turn into our neighborhood when from the backseat i heard a small toddler voice ask, "big lion?"

we left big lion at the library.

i immediately called the library and spoke with a guy who sounded much too young to work at the library. "we just left a few minutes ago," i started, "and we're on our way back because we left a stuffed lion behind. would you mind grabbing it from the table in the toddler area?"

"sorry, i can't hear you," he mumbled. ah yes, that's because i have a wailing newborn and a devastated toddler behind me hollering, "big lion at HOME!". we'll start again.

he came back on the line as i got back on the freeway. "i didn't see a lion at any of the tables."

tears welled up in my eyes as i got off the phone. i gripped the steering wheel and tried to keep my voice positive as i tried to calm the kids. in my head i prayed as no one has ever prayed over a raggedy worn out lion. Lord, we have been gone for less than ten minutes. how could someone have already taken big lion? don't they know he's kind of smelly? please please please let him be there. i ran through every scenario in my head-- could we replace big lion? offer a reward? but with his squished in limbs and wrung-out neck and dirty paws, we absolutely cannot replace big lion. with all his imperfections, this is the old gentleman we want and love. oh Lord, please please please let him be there. 

we ran back into the library, far less triumphantly than before. i hustled over to the toddler section, and there, sitting on the table, on top of puzzles, legos, and books, was big lion. he and cruz happily reunited, london fell back asleep, i wiped the sweat from my brow, took a deep breath, and loaded us all (ALL!) back into the van.

oh, i felt so defeated. can i tell you from the bottom of my heart how badly i want to be a good mom to these precious souls? i don't want to be overwhelmed. i don't want a quick afternoon at the library to end in tears (theirs or mine). i want to keep my cool. i see so many moms around me that seem to do this all with no hesitation or fear or gripping sense of panic. they take their children out without leaving behind loveys. what i can't ever be that mom?

it wasn't until a few days later that i began to see the larger lesson in there for me: the tears, the sweat, the bored librarian... none of the drama that followed takes away from our wonderful afternoon at the library. steps backward don't take away from steps forward. day by day, and sometimes hour by hour, we're making this new family work.

June 17, 2013

a mother of action

i laid on the couch, listening to kat lee's "inspired to action" podcast and tried to avoid getting up to get cruz from his nap. (yes, i see the irony) on this particular episode, kat talked about becoming a "woman of action," instead of a woman of inspiration, and i decided to put it into - yes, exactly - action.

earlier in the day, before i turned on the podcast, i laid on the couch (newborn life!) reading through twitter and my favorite weekend blogs, and i started to feel overwhelmed. information and inspiration were hurtling towards me and i let it all in with no filter. the sheer volume of it all made it impossible for me to process and understand most of it. and certainly i wasn't going to digest or act on any of it. i don't want my summer to fly by just because i didn't act.

so i made a decision. each month, i want to make three parenting goals, and share my progress on them with you here. we just had a baby, so i am going to focus on these first goals for six weeks, instead of four. you know how i feel about giving grace.

1. expand cruz's food palate.
    goal: this kid wants to eat cereal bars and strawberries all day long. it's not sustainable. i'm tired    to going to fun restaurants and bringing along a peanut butter & jelly sandwich because i know he won't try any new foods.
2. establish morning and evening routines for cruz.
    goal: ok, we have routines but they are very loose. cruz has needed a lot of structure since london was born, and i think having a firmer routine to his day will help him to feel more secure. i want him to know what to expect when he gets up in the morning and goes down to bed a night.
london's goal is to be chunky and adorable
3. more hands-on activities. 
    goal: cruz gets a little stuck on certain activities (right now it's basketball). as he's not in preschool yet, it's my job to keep introducing him to new learning opportunities. i think this summer will be a great time to do that plus it will keep me accountable for spending quality time with cruz in the middle of this baby transition.

June 12, 2013

what we're into lately

+ reading: london: a novel. when i saw this book on simple mom's summer reading list, i knew it would be on mine too! in london, the city is the main character, and her story is told from the beginning of time. it's a different type of novel than what i usually pick up, but i love the history of this city.

+ apps: what to expect: baby. i tried quite a few newborn tracking apps, and this one is my favorite. i used it for our first week home to track diapers and feedings before we settled into a little routine. the fun stat it gives you is the cumulative amount of time spent breastfeeding-- five to six hours a day, friends! we're serious about nursing around here.

+ watching: i realize that i'm about ten years late to the party on this, but holy moly the west wing.  i finished the last episode during our 5am feeding, and i am so sad about it. after seven seasons, i know these characters and care about them to an unreasonable degree. anyone else feel that way? c.j. cregg for my new best friend? so next i'll be watching call the midwife. during the first ten minutes of that show, i was dismayed to realize that a prenatal exam has not changed at all since 1957. i mean, not. at. all.

+ eating: anything i can get my paws on. also, an inordinate amount of dark chocolate. i would like to find some healthy snack choices as our pediatrician would like me to cut back some on dairy for the next few weeks while london's digestive system matures (plus i'm not sure that the amount of dark chocolate i've been consuming lately works with my goal of being a healthy, energetic mama). what are your favorite go-to sources for simple, healthy food?

+ amazon: love being back in newborn mode! our latest amazon order included wipes, dipes, pacis, and laundry detergent. i think that sums up life these days.

+ infomercials: in order to stay awake during middle of the night feedings, i often watch tv (see: the entire west wing series). during my solo night in the hospital, i ended up watching infomercials. you guys, i can get talked into buying anything at 3am. right now, i am convinced that my life would be perfect with this makeup.

June 10, 2013

what {they} wore on wednesday

when it comes to wednesdays, we are suddenly double the outfits, double the fun. and because we play hard, there are many, many outfits to show!

our june gloom melted away for a moment, and cruz started the day outside with some coloring and picture taking.

and by "outfit" for london, i actually mean nakey time. 

just until we put on this little number:

later in the morning we loaded up the van and headed to the natural history museum. every time we go i am more convinced that it is one of those thin, magical spaces between heaven and earth. the sunlight is always perfect, the creek is crystal clear and cold. we could stay all day. i think cruz agrees.

after naptime, cruz and i made chalk roads in the backyard for his mini cooper.
we are slowly but surely adjusting to being a family of four. looking forward to many more sweet summer wednesdays!

June 6, 2013


she's here! she's here! our sweet little london rae arrived last week. she's a delightful 8.5 pounds and clearly you can see that one of those pounds is just hair. she's a dream baby, seriously. chubby and cuddly; there's no better combination. we'll keep her for a long, long time.

we were snuggling in bed the other day, and it hit me all over again-- we have been entrusted with the sacred stewardship of this soul. she is ours to love and protect, to pray over and shepherd. she is a tiny little thing, so fresh from heaven, facing a dark and confusing world. i want our home and our family to be a safe place for her to grow and thrive and learn that she is a precious child of God.

welcome to the world, london.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...