February 13, 2014

this is the thick of it

our church is reading through the Bible together this year (which, side note, has been awesome and i'm hoping write about next week). today's new testament reading was in matthew 26. jesus and the disciples are in the garden of gethsemane, and jesus says to peter, "... the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!"
i hear THAT, i thought to myself.
and a few verses later... "when he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn't keep their eyes open."
yup, i hear that too.
the other day, a friend's mom asked me how old my kids were. when i replied with, "my son is three and my daughter is eight months," her eyes got wide and she put a hand on my shoulder. "oooh, you are in the thick of it."
let me tell you, there was something so validating in having an experienced woman say that this is a full season of life.
nursing london. carrying her. lifting cruz into the car. cruz is climbing on my back. cruz is climbing on my back while i'm nursing london. i'm lugging bags and hoisting strollers. i'm filling cups and chasing boys and dogs around the backyard. and could there be any more wiping?
that's what i wasn't prepared for in parenting: all.the.wiping.
kisses. peekaboo. smoothing hair off of tired faces. leaning down to listen better.
my arms and back are tired, so i've been trying my hardest to keep my spirit refreshed, to remember what a blessing and joy it is to serve these little souls with every ounce of my strength. Lord, you gave me these hands to hold and wipe. you made my hips perfectly wide enough to tote my baby around on. you made my legs strong enough to chase my son. my spirit is willing, Lord. help me keep my eyes open.

February 6, 2014


this is what we were up to in january... at least according to instagram
^^ while we haven't had any real winter weather, we've been enjoying the most gorgeous winter skies. in a recent sermon, our pastor even talked about how every time there's a pretty sunset, everyone in santa barbara runs outside with their iphones raised high. it's true. and awesome.
^^ in january i was sorely in need of some refreshment (i'd say 'self-care' but i don't really like that word... more on that to come...). refreshment. i needed refreshment. i needed time to sit in the sun. i needed coffee and a cupcake and a couple of episodes of 'parenthood.'
^^ london looking pretty...
^^ and silly! she's getting so big and independent. she sits like a dream, is starting to pull herself up, and wants to crawl badly.
^^ apparently cruz only wants his picture taken while he's eating? here he is learning about the c-train (thank goodness my years and years at lindamood-bell are paying off!), and also at one of our many, many lunchtime picnics. this little park is about three houses down from us, and we've been there almost every day lately. both the kids have been growing and changing at a rapid pace this month. every single day seems full to the brim. 

here's to more in february!

February 3, 2014

the great closet cleanout

i love shopping. i love clothes. i certainly can't claim to have any revolutionary sense of style, but i enjoy dressing myself, for whatever it's worth. but confession time: i tend to buy things on sale just because they're on sale. i can't tell you just how many jcrew tank tops lurk in my closet simply because they were 30% off clearance. i hold onto clothes that no longer fit because i have some denial about my post-baby body. i was holding onto clothes that no longer worked because i had a little denial about my post-baby lifestyle (i mean, how many cocktail dresses does a gal need?). my closet was full of ifs and remember whens and the results of a whole lot of retail therapy. it's was problem. and my closet needed some life and truth spoken into it. fortunately, this coincided with getting back into my post-baby clothes, and i've learned a couple of tips along the way:

+ be truthful about your current style. look, i'm a work at home mama. i play on the floor. i'm still nursing london. i like to get out of the house. i need clothes that work for all of this. i need effortless clothing. i hardly wear jeans-- jeggings, leggings, and maxi skirts work best in this season of life. i'm not wearing any precious fabrics because spit-up/nursing/mud/sweet potatoes. (i really wear the same two target t-shirts as often as i can, let's be honest) these are the clothes i need. i took everything else out of the closet and instantly slimmed my choices down. as it turns out, i had been holding on to bags and bags of business casual-wear from the job i had before kids. now, every once in a while i'll need to go to a dressy meeting or event, but i don't need too many of these pieces. out they went!

+ get a sarah. your sarah may go by another name but my sarah has great taste and isn't afraid to kindly tell the truth. get your sarah over to your house and trick her into agreeing to watch you try on every.single.thing in your closet. because she's honest and has great taste and always makes you feel great about yourself, you'll listen when she says, "you know, that shirt is just not working for you" or "do you think you have enough gray cotton long-sleeved shirts?" she'll remind you that while that top is cute, you'd never be able to nurse in it. at the end of the day, you'll end up with a closet full of clothes that you actually wear and actually look good in. there won't be any if, maybe or someday pieces; just clothes you actually wear. you might fight her on some of the choices, so she'll encourage you to fill up a bag with the 'maybes' and look at them again in six months.

+ wait six months, then text your sarah and tell her she was right. you didn't wear anything from the 'maybe' bag.

+ bless someone else. at this point, the clothes i'm clearing out of my closet aren't torn or worn; they just don't fit me or my current style. there are items from jcrew, anthro, gap. at first i was a little sad to let them go just because, but now i'm excited to bless someone else, pass them on, and let my clothes go to a new home!
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