January 7, 2011

The Things We've Left Undone

Today is Abby's third birthday! This little ball of fluff is now a big(gish) golden retriever and really one of the greatest blessings in our lives. She's playful, joyful, gentle, and super cute! There were of course some growing pains when she first arrived at our house (I think we got up in the night with her longer than we did with Cruz!), but we couldn't imagine life without her. She truly is part of our family. So today seemed like the perfect day for this post... The Things We've Left Undone...


Yesterday at Trader Joe's, the checker asked me what Cruz and I had been up to. I get this question a lot (obviously-- this is a very normal question), but am often not sure of how to answer. So I told him, "well, we've sung some songs. Looked at pictures in a book. Changed diapers. Napped. And looked at ourselves in the mirror." I've even thought about blogging What We Do All Day as a running diary just so that I can see where all the time goes! 


Before Cruz was born, I would joke with my friend Colette that I envisioned my maternity leave as one long trip to Starbucks. I would read. Cruz would nap. And obviously we would both be wearing amazing outfits. There's been a lack of Starbucks, but everything else has kind of been true. These last two months have been blissful (new Mamas-in-Training hang in there! It gets waaaaay better after five weeks), but I am starting to realize that this has come at a price.


We have a beautiful backyard. I went out there the other day (probably for the first time in months), and realized that it is overgrown with weeds! Mom, I've got a project for you next time you come down to visit! Also, if anyone out there needs limes, oranges or lemons, please pick some.


I can barely hold a conversation. I'm assuming that I am not the first Mama to experience this, but I feel bad about it every time I get together with a girlfriend. Since Cruz was born, I have not been able to give anything else 100% of my attention. Hopefully he is cute enough to distract you all from the fact that my brain is only 90% engaged. 


The first five months of my pregnancy were Hell On Earth. It was like having a combination of food posioning, flu and mono that never ended. Ever. Not surprisingly, I stopped cooking. Then I started commuting to our summer center an hour away from home. I didn't cook. Then I was nine months pregnant and had Dominos on my top-visited websites. Then we had the baby. Then I was on my super intense diet. I miss cooking. 


And Abby. Sweet, sweet pup. Not in a bajillion years would I have guessed that you would be this neglected. It kills me that you don't get a walk everyday and that we don't play with you as much. I can't wait for you to be friends with Cruz and to have a playmate. 


After Christmas, we picked Abby up from the puppy country club. She's always tired and sleeps for a few days after coming home (the Dioji Hangover). But this time, I noticed that she didn't perk back up. I vowed to take her running more often, and we've done better with that. Then two nights ago, Tovi and I noticed strange bumps on her tummy. She had a great appetite and the bumps didn't seem to hurt her, but I still flipped out! Abby is soooooo much a part of our family, and I can't stand the thought of her being hurt or sick. Obviously, I stayed up until 1am googling "dog skin cancer" and scaring the crap out of myself. 


After a night of restless, worried sleep, we walked over to the vet. As it turns out, everything is fine. She picked up a bad case of buggies at Dioji, and she'll be completely okay. But it was definitely a scare I don't want to repeat. As I told Tovi tearfully, I just felt so guilty! What if something had been wrong this whole time and I was too wrapped up in the baby to notice?


So a good reminder to broaden my attention. And an even better reminder was this:
All you need to remember is that
God will never let you down;
He'll never let you be pushed past your limit;
He'll always be there to help you come through it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

3 comments:

  1. Becca,
    I've just spent some time reading your blog and I think you are a wise, loving mom with a great sense of humor! You bring me right back to those days of young motherhood and I enjoy your honest perspective and insights - far better ones that I had nearly 30 years ago!
    Cruz is getting so big and is a beautiful boy (as you know!). You look wonderful and I'm impressed that you are together enough to write a blog, on top of everything else you have to do! It will one day be a beautiful memoir and you'll be glad you wrote down these thoughts.
    Happy Birthday to Abby and love to you, Tovi and Cruz!

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  2. Thank you so much, Aunt Judy! Everyone said that having a baby would change our lives... and they were right! It's as if my world has a new center of gravity. :) We can't wait for you to meet him!

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  3. We have two dogs and a two year old daughter. I know exactly what you are talking about. Our dogs used to get walked twice a day before we had our daughter and now they are lucky if they get walked once a week :(

    The good thing is that my daughter is now old enough to play with them. It's so cute to watch them play. As far as walking the dogs everyday thing... we're still working on that one!

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comments make my day. xo.

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