April 5, 2011

In Which Everyone At Albertson's Has An Opinion

I may have mentioned this before, but I am terrible at small talk.
There's a reason I always choose the self-checkout lines at the grocery store.
A reason I was reminded of today.

Cruz is a total flirt, so wherever we go, we get a lot of attention.
Aka, I have to talk to a lot of strangers.
I had to go to Albertson's today, which is Crazytown around here. When I go to Albertson's, I like to use the self-checkout line to avoid the inevitable small talk.
But I had too many items to do my own bagging today.

While we stood in line, a lady of seeming Eastern European persuasion leaned into Cruz's carseat. He's a charmer, so he gave her a gummy grin and babbled at her.
She leaned in, and snatched his paci out of his mouth!
"There's no milk coming out of there!" she cried.
Um, no. That would be awkward.

Want to know what's more awkward?

We get up to the checker and he also peers into Cruz's carseat and comments on his paci.
"Oh, I like that!" he tells me.
Me too, I say. So easy for him to put it in himself, etc.
"Want to know why I like it?" he asked.
Probably not.
"Well, my nickname? In school? Was Froggie."
I'm not asking why.
"I'm actually developing a whole Froggie brand. With greeting cards. You know, like a frog in a tuxedo..."
And on and on.
He was so excited about the catchphrase "I'll love you frogever!" that he bagged every single one of my items in a separate bag.
Every. Single. One.
No, hairspray does not need it's own bag. I mean, seriously. 
So next time we will be back at our beloved self-checkout line.
Even if it takes frogever.


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