May 16, 2011

Guest Post: Confessions of a ...

I want to tell you about two things today.
The first is about my friend Sarah.
Sarah has taught me  that so much grace and love is available when you let your bad parts show. 
Like, she loves you even when she knows the worst thing about you.
I don't even clean when she comes over anymore.That's how convinced of her love I am.
Amy, me, Colette, Sarah 
The second thing is about confession.
Over the last seven months, I have grown to love this particular sacrament.
It is so freeing to tell the world what's really going on.
I love confession so much that I want it to be a regular part of this blog, 
and I am extending the opportunity to you!
It seemed perfectly fitting that our first guest post would be from the gal who has taught me so much about confession.
Sometimes the posts will be funny
sometimes serious
always written in truth and love.
So here's Sarah.
Sarah, thank you for being brave this morning!
Let's leave her some love in the comments, shall we?

{do you have something to confess? email me at}

for anyone who knows becca and i, you know we both enjoy a good schedule. predictability of what's next accompanied by a good organizational design which leads to an accurate set of expectations. maybe it's because we're j's but lately i've been thinking my need for a good schedule comes from my great joy in the church calendar. becca and i count down to advent like a 9 year old counts down to the double digit birthday. and lent, don't even get me started on lent. there's something so comforting about the church's seasons: advent, christmas, epiphany, lent, easter and pentecost. they happen every year, just like the year before. during advent we learn to wait. and in lent we learn about suffering. and year after year i take out my advent book or my copy of " the irrational season" (by madeline l'engle) for lent and i read about waiting and i read about suffering. and i pray, that just one of these days, i'll embrace waiting and suffering outside of advent or lent. the beauty of these two church seasons is that there is a prize at the end. the birth of our savior, the pretty lights and the gorgeous decorations. the birth of our savior. his life celebrated, year after year. we wait in anticipation and we learn to be patient. and lent, we recall jesus' suffering, sometimes partaking in our own humble, meager attempt at suffering, and we learn to be patient. but come easter sunday we get to rejoice, and take our alleluias out of their box and we are grateful for the resurrection. advent and lent remind me every november and february what i love about my mysterious lord.

but did you catch my mention of the p word? yup, that word patience which sings in my ear, day in and day out. patience is supposed to be a pretty word isn't it? its perfect pitch singing in my ear, gracefully poised, with a perfect pink bow on top. but sometimes i feel like that p word is taunting me, mocking me. surely this must be the devil masked as patience because the angel of patience is the one clothed in the pretty pink bow. but patience stares me in the face, each day causing me to partake in lent and advent all year long.

after dating jon for 3 1/2 years (insert charlotte's exclamation regarding big and carrie's engagement) he proposed. i was engaged, and becca was pregnant, and we coined our summer and fall "advent". the season of course continued for me until march, and now it's april, and i'm married, but i still find myself waiting. i'm no longer being patient. i think all day long about where we will live and when jon will be done with his huntington beach contract work. i plan, i scheme, i daydream, i get distracted easily. i dream of granite counter tops and hardwood floors. a leather couch and a long dining room table to enjoy good food and good wine with dear friends. i wait for the day that i get to come home and cook a meal for my husband. i want a schedule, people. remember, i crave that? i am not patient, i am done waiting. i'm ready for christmas and easter and i've convinced myself that i've waited so long that i deserve both the christmas tree and the easter basket in the same day. i've been so busy feeling righteous about the amount of time i've been waiting, that i forgot to pray about it even. it's ok though because i'm remembering to pray about it again, and i'm remembering that with every lent and every advent there is easter and there is christmas. they come every single time, and the lord will not disappoint on this season for me either. i love a good schedule but i'm going to keep on embracing my waiting and remember that god's work happens in all the days leading up to christmas and easter.


  1. I love both of you! Becca (my aunt Becky), I love that you have always taught by example. Your blog is a BEAUTIFUL example of your bravery. Have I told you that I try to read every one of your mama confessionals? Thank you for being brave and showing your weakness! As a someday mama, I already feel better. Ps - Cruz is so freaking cute. And I work with a lot of babies, so I know cute from not cute.

    Sarah! I love this post. You're so patient. I wish I could live by you again and feed off your faith. Since, at least for now, I'm so far away, keep these posts coming!

    Sara, INFP

    Ps - it's finally romper season in Boston! Almost...

  2. Sarah, thanks for your honesty, thoughtfulness and poignant reflection. Beautifully written! I find that patience and contentment seems to go hand in hand, they are intertwined and overlapped. And both are a daily challenge. I don't think it matters if we're single, married, dating, working, waiting, mothering, moving or staying- Patience and contentment are hard. Thank you for reminding me that embracing the season is the only way to go.

  3. Sarah,this is such a great post! Patience is something that so many of us struggle with and I love how you connected it with the waiting we do during advent and lent. I'm an advent/lent nerd too.

    Becca, I love your blog. I've passed it along to several friends because I like it so much. :)

  4. Thank you all for your kind words! It is *scary* putting yourself out there, weaknesses exposed. My deepest prayer is that this becomes a "safe space" for all kinds of people to share what's really going on in their lives/hearts. Thank you for reading!


comments make my day. xo.

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