October 24, 2011

mostly about food

this blog post has started and stopped at least five times.
cruz is freshly in bed, burgers are sizzling on the stove, and i have writer's block.
writer's impatience.
or a series of tweets rather than a coherent thought longer than 140 characters:

we went to the pumpkin patch twice!

cruz loves to eat seaweed. #weirdkid #suchahipster

i haven't watched real housewives in at least a month. #mazel #questionmark

but tonight i want something more. i want to hear my fingers tapping quickly across keys. i want smartfunnyheartwarmingprofound thoughts to appear on this white page. 

i want to write something true. 

our new nephew was born early early early this morning and my arms are already aching to hold him. he is precious and alert and tovi and i have argued over which of his parents he looks like.
 thinking about babies got me thinking about food (doesn't it always?).
when cruz was a few hours fresh into the world, my friend sarah brought me a chocolate bundt cake. i think she brought flowers too, but the cake is what i remember. tovi tried to eat some, but i have never wanted to share less in my life. later that afternoon, andrea drove up from san diego, bringing four perfect birthday cupcakes. 
the parade of meals continued day after day for weeks. lovely women showing up around 5:30pm, pulling out steaming bowls of rice, chicken, salad and bags of cookies from reusable grocery bags. i answered the door in my yoga pants and the black maternity sweatshirt borrowed from my sister-in-law (and never returned! sorry about that, em). cruz would be asleep in my arms or rocking in the swing. nervously, i showed him off. "am i doing this right?" i thought, every single time. "she knows i'm not. she can see right through me."
bringing home a baby was such an overwhelming time, but having these angelic cooks parade through my life, scoop cruz up in their arms, telling me that i looked great, he was great, it will all be fine was a balm. i was so fed in that season. 
it is the kind of thankfulness that i don't know how to repay. there isn't a meal that i've forgotten, by the way. my mom's pork chops with apple. heather's enchiladas with my favorite corn salsa. carrie's chili. judy's chocolate chip cookies. tovi would stash snacks and water bottles around the house so that i would have something to eat at a moment's notice. ashley showed up at the hospital with a bag of groceries for us to restock our fridge. 
bite after bite, love after love.

one year later and i am reaping the harvest. 


  1. You're so good at putting thoughtful words on the blank page. I love seeing that you have a new post because I know I will love it. You have a gift, Becca, and thank you for sharing it with us.

  2. oh, thank you, Annemarie! Your comment absolutely made my day.


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