engagement

this is a season of real-deal parenting, you guys. back when i was a little baby mama, i could leave cruz to his own devises, and he would bop around outside. whether he was playing basketball, chasing our dog, or even digging in the dirt. i never worried about what he would get into. never. he loved if i played with him, but he also enjoyed playing alone. our days were very easy. but for all of you out there who might be a little jealous, relax. those days are done.
i don't want to say that cruz needs attention because he's not begging for me to watch him or entertain him. he doesn't need an audience, but right now he needs me to be engaged. so i put away my agenda, i multitask less, i invite him into my to-do list. when we're together, we're together and it's resulted in some pretty sweet moments. a dance party in the kitchen. pretending to be elephants all-the-live-long-day. sampling his imaginary soups. every moment of my day is spent parenting, in easy lovely moments and hard tantrumy moments. i have not found the balance between staying super engaged and getting everything done that i need to, but i'm trusting that i will never regret pouring more and more into this soul. i love this little man with my whole heart.