the backyard

my friend anna and i have a saying: all problems disappear outside. (ok, i don't know if it's a saying... but we say it). problems disappear outside. outside is like toddler management magic. 

so obviously when it was warm and sunny and we (i) needed to get out of the house, i quick texted anna for a spur of the moment playdate at the natural history museum's backyard.

the backyard is a fairly wild stretch of land. it has a creek and a waterfall, rocks, dirt and wood chips. it has large sticks. it is a dream.

our little guys threw rocks in the creek (well, mason may have thrown himself into the creek, but that would surprise no one). anna and i talked about God and community and fashion and a million topics you'd never think we'd be able to cover while simultaneously rescuing small lads from precarious situations. but that's the kind of friend anna is. 

and because all problems disappear outside, there was very little crying or whining or even mama stress. and when that warm sun hits your skin and the wood chips smell like your college campus and your boy is being adorable and your friend is speaking truth, well, that's just a blessing. 

InstaFeb

according to instagram in february we:
+ got serious about simplifying (and it's been a process and life giving)
+ learned the hard way that apple-eating is a learned skill for toddlers
+ tovi went to a conference for the weekend and while he was gone i ate an absurd amount of chocolate peanut butter cupcakes from trader joe's and watched a 'catfish' marathon (this show is so sociologically interesting. omg. these people)
+ my pyrex exploded in the oven and we had to order burritos
+ cruz got serious about sports
+ for the first time in my life, i got serious about valentine's day and it was super fun! doing that again next year
+ gosh, my boy is getting handsome
+ also, he is learning to climb fast and well
+ more basketball, more outside backyard adventures
+ and if you're interested in getting your heart absolutely destroyed for Jesus (and learning how to make room for Him in our crazy materialistic culture) read '7,' grab some good friends - and boxes for all the stuff you'll realize you don't need - and prepare to do some good, hard work in your heart.

car wash

when it comes to being a mom, there is nothing so good for your self-esteem as having a one year old boy. you are an absolute rock star in his eyes, his one and only, his true love. it's the best.

but time goes on and one year olds turn into two year olds. even if two happens to be the best age yet (and it is!), mamas aren't quite the center of the universe as they once were. 

because little boys discover that they have dadas. really, really awesome dadas. 

dadas who play every single sport, who wrestle, throw tennis balls against the side of the house, who make up silly games, and are waaaaay better at bath time than the mama. 

everything tovi does cruz wants to do too. and i don't even mind, because aside from having a clean car, tovi is the best dad i could imagine. 

how to welcome a little sister

when it comes to welcoming a new baby into our home, i'm not too worried about it. we have an infant car seat (it's totally a boy color, but whatever), someone will set up the pack-n-play, and if need be, we can pick up a pack of newborn-sized diapers on the drive home from the hospital. she will be fine.

but when it comes to welcoming a new baby into our family, i have two major worries. 

ok, three major worries, but one has to do with nursing and simultaneously participating in the sun-up-to-sun-down basketball practice schedule cruz has been insisting on lately. i'm sure we'll work that one out.

no, these two fears are major mama-heart fears, and i know in my head that it will all be fine, so i'm letting you in on them now so that in four months you can say, "i told you so. see, it all worked out."

fear number one: i love cruz with my whole heart. these last two years have been infinitely precious to me. no one on the planet or in the history of humankind knows him better than i do. i mean, that is amazing, isn't it? it is an awesome and overpowering feeling. he is everything to me. that i love him isn't even something i can conceive of or quantitate because he is just part of me. my whole heart for my whole life. etc. how can i possibly bring in another child to this family and ever love them as much as i love cruz?

fear number two: i am crazy about my little girl. when she starts bouncing around in my tummy, it's like the world shifts and i must pay attention. i can't wait to hold her in the new morning light of the hospital and tell her, "you. you. we prayed for you to come and join our family. God turned our mourning into laughter with you." i can't wait to hold her and do tummy time and sweet newborn baths and snuggles... and what if in all that love, i start to love her too much and leave cruz behind?

i know God works a miracle in our mama hearts. i've already had it happen once. but sometimes i can't believe that i get to have this much love in my life. 

what {we} wore on wednesday

oh wednesday, wednesday. today started like all the other days of the last few weeks-- with a small child begging to go outside and play basketball.

the fact that he's wearing christmas jams in february really adds a certain something, don't you think? i am not kidding you, these jams were huge on cruz in december. he's growing like a weed!  i guess all that costco oatmeal is really doing it's job.

honestly, i would have kept him in his pjs all day (that's how i was feeling about today), but we had errands to run, and the thought of taking him to trader joe's in christmas pjs was just too much. 

so i got him dressed. but me? oh no. sweatshirt i slept in. filthy yoga pants. unwashed face. as i knew would happen, obviously i ran into a friend, but fortunately it was ashley s who i'm guessing understands pretty well. we need friends that force us to get dressed, and we also need those friends that will embrace you in your mess. 

and cruz looked super cute!

he even figured out how to make the outfit better. 

+++

 here's how the bump and i have been dressing!

 + major haircut! i've had the same haircut for the last ten years and i've been itching for a change. finally my best friend andrea said, "it's just hair. it grows back." she's always doing new and adorable things to her own hair, and it was beyond time to listen to her advice. 

+ sweatpants are really the only option once i'm done for the day. since there are still fifteen weeks to go (these pics go up to 24 weeks, but today is week 25), i think i'll be in a sorry state by the end of this pregnancy.

+ when i was pregnant with cruz, my belly button popped out one day when i sneezed too hard. this one slowly but surely made an appearance. are babies really that desperate for space that they need even our belly button spaces?

+++

on my wishlist for baby girl:

{via}

this headband is from little hip squeaks and it makes me want to die from cuteness. 

well, that's all the wednesday i've got left in me.

night-night!