milk

i've woken cruz up from a nap. he's flushed and fussy. 

holding his lion, he waddles over to the gate at the top of our stairs, looks back at me, signs for milk.

"yes," i say. "come here. we'll put on your pants and then go downstairs."

he starts to cry. his hands sign furiously.

"dow'staihs!" he cries. "mil'!"

"yes," i repeat. "let's put on pants first, and then we'll go downstairs."

he bursts into real tears and wanders away from my sight. 

i find him in the office, crying, and trying to grab something from tovi's desk.

"there's no milk here, baby. we need to put on pants and then go downstairs. come with me."

tears are rolling down his cheeks as i scoop him up, put his pants on, and carry him downstairs. 

.........................................

thank you, Lord, for the patient way you love me. 

you call me to you and i wander away.

you find me in dark places and carry me close.